Finally, I’d found a different way of understanding why I kept getting stuck in the same patterns and, more importantly, how to change them.

This model is called Internal Family Systems (IFS). At its core, IFS helps us understand and work with the different parts of ourselves that show up in every relationship. What I love about IFS is that it’s empowering and gives you the skills to do this work outside of therapy. IFS teaches us how to understand our own internal system, build trust with the parts that are trying to protect us, so that we can begin to change lifelong patterns from the inside out.

Over the years, I worked with individuals as they discovered that the very parts trying to help them find love and connection were the same parts unintentionally keeping them disconnected, choosing unavailable partners, or stuck in toxic cycles.

Therapy is special and powerful. However, I often only have 50 minutes with a client each week or every other week at our designated time. I started to realize that I wanted these skills to be available outside the therapy office, at the moments people need them most, usually after business hours.

I wanted a practice people could turn to anytime, anywhere. Something they could reach for at 2:00 a.m., when anxiety spirals, loneliness feels overwhelming, or they're tempted to send that text they know they'll regret.

Personally, I have been doing a morning writing practice since 2018 that has turned into a daily comfort and a special time to be with myself and my parts. During this time, I combined the daily writing practice with Internal Family Systems. Instead of simply thinking about my patterns, I could write and communicate directly with the different parts of myself, creating insight, self-compassion, and lasting change in real time.

It worked. What began as a simple writing practice became a powerful way I could help people break old relationship patterns and create the types of love and connection we all long for.